Don't have it your way

Over the last 3 months i've had multiple realizations; mini epiphanies if you will.
God has smacked me over the head quite a bit and sometimes i listened, often i did not.

my most recent encounter, taught me to be grateful for the gift of not receiving.
I often pray (sometimes beg and plead) that God will do or give or provide me with certain things in my life that I believe I NEED.
And for the most part, it's usually an earnest plea. I most always truly believe that I need those things.
BUT what God has been teaching me is that i don't need what he hasn't given me.
I frequently thank God for the blessings he has overwhelmed my life with but for some reason, my human flesh always wants more.
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think of myself as a spoiled, greedy Christian that's always asking God for things; I pride myself on my thankfulness. But i do find myself almost doubting that God is answering or even listening to what im asking for.
What i love about my God, though, is that he likes to send me little reminders that he's still there. Most of the time when i get these reminders, i end up feeling pretty silly for ever having doubted Him.

A number of times we think that God doesn't necessarily want us to be happy or that he isn't concerned with our happiness because he does not give us the things that we think will accomplish that.
But in reality, God wants our ULTIMATE happiness and therefore doesn't give into momentary "necessities".
Rather he looks at the big picture and plans according to an ultimate joy.

Here I am at 22 years of age, and im finally starting to mature.
Did i really pray: Thank you God for not letting me have my way?
i did.
and as far as i'm concerned I never want things to go my way, i want things to go His way.
ALWAYS.

Stop and Stare

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see

They're trying to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
Something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What you need, what you need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see...

--One Republic