Things I absolutely LOVE/HATE.

Basically I'm giving you a list of things that people around me do. Either it makes me want to give them a big hug or slap their mama.

LOVE:

• people who use the word "bonkers". Something about it just makes me bonkers.
  

• Little kids (like under 6 years old) play together without an adult. My gosh, when kids can make each other laugh, there's nothing cuter.Also, it keeps me from having to do a lot of work when I babysit. (Just kidding, kinda).
  

• Singing loud in the car (see picture) I don't just mean singing a little bit to your favorite song when you're on the freeway. I mean BELTING every word to the song as if you were the singer on stage at a concert. But here's the thing, some people will stop singing on the regular road or when stopped at a red light. If you keep singing despite those situations, then you fit into this category. (if you do this, we DEFINITELY will be friends)

• Laying on my stomach. I can't even really explain this one. I like reading in this position, watching tv, tanning, blogging, texting, etc. Just try it and you'll get it.
  

• Arguing. I should add to my hate list, when people try to stop me from arguing. I don't mind disagreeing with someone, I honestly don't. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not argumentative (Although my mom and my closest friends would PROBABLY disagree). I just don't mind having a discussion in which two individuals don't agree on something and therefore, have to argue about it (not to be confused with debating, cuz i HATE THAT! also, I don't like when other people argue, that just chaps my hide.
  

HATE:

• When people put pictures of their injuries on facebook. PLEASE people, I can barely watch Grey's Anatomy without feeling sick, the last thing I need to see is your nasty split open, bloody head blowing up my news feed.

• Slip on sandals, NOT FLIP FLOPS (see picture) FACT: If I see a woman wearing a shoe of this variety, I automatically respect her less. There is not an uglier shoe. There just isn't. I feel morally obligated to destroy all of these slip on sandals that exist. NO ONE should be wearing these, EVER. Just, please don't.
  

• Sprinkles (on ANYTHING) What a freaking waste of a topping. WHY would I want a flavorless, soft slash crunchy tiny bug like colorful thing on my cupcake/ice cream/cookie? Oh that's right, I wouldn't! What's even worse are chocolate sprinkles. Although I'm not the biggest fan of chocolate, I'm still usually an advocate for chocolate because it's like the dessert of my people (idk.) but chocolate sprinkles, plain and simple, look like mouse poop.
  

• When people sit directly across from you in a waiting room. Obviously, if there are not other seats available, the one facing me isn't going to bother me, I'm not a MONSTER. But please, I'm all for awkward situations, but that is just not an awkward situation I'm willing to deal with.

BTW-just because you do something on my HATE list, doesn't mean we can't still be friends and just because you something on my LOVE list, doesn't mean we'll be friends. (I'm picky and my friendship is pretty exclusive, just saying.)

My current obsessions

SHE'S COUNTRY BY JASON ALDEAN

I can't even begin to describe the amount of times I've listened to this song. And I definitely won't tell you about how I keep trying to act like the girl he describes in the song. But I'm not country at all. This song is just SO GOOD!


ENGAGEMENT PHOTOS

(I couldn't post someone's picture here without feeling like a total creeper)
First off, while this is a CURRENT obsession, it is not a recent development. I have always loved looking at engagement photos, even if I don't know the couple. There's something about a perfectly placed sun glare in a photo that makes me crazy. I love when people get creative with their pictures too. Not that a couple sitting in a tall grass field in between each other isn't satisfying but when I see a picture that hasn't been done before (i.e. this really cool zombie engagement shoot I saw recently), I feel like their marriage will be better. Creativity is the key to a perfect marriage right?
There are three key things that make for a perfect engagement shoot. (1) The bride to be should wear a dress. A cute, baby doll, whimsical-ish dress. Girls in jeans are cute but girls in dresses are wife-y material. (2) The perfect amount of sun glare mixed with background blurring. I'm pretty sure those are the technical names. Those two in combination will make me weep (Assuming the couple has good photo chemistry). (3) AT LEAST ONE picture must have the bride to be looking at the camera and the husband to be looking at the bride to be. This is an essential part of having people say "Awww" when they look at your photos. If no one is saying "Awww", get your money back for those pictures IMMEDIATELY.
I'm not gonna say I want to get engaged just for the pictures but...

I'm not that girl...

I wish I were that girl that craved waking up at 4am to go to a spin class at LA Fitness...instead I'm the girl who craves jack in the box tacos at 2am.

I wish I were that girl that people describe as kind or sweet...instead I'm the girl who people are afraid to make angry.

I wish I were that girl who looks hot in sweatpants and a ponytail...instead I'm the girl who sweats too much and doesn't like wearing pants (yeah, I just went partial nudity on you...)

I wish I were that girl who "just gets along better with guys"...instead I'm the girl who feels the need to make awkward comments about herself whenever guys are around (seriously, how many times am I gonna bring up my bra wire?).

I wish I were that girl who never embarrasses herself, and when she does its cute...instead I'm the girl who's been caught three times pretending she's blind while walking to the restroom at work.

I wish I were that girl with the dainty, not annoying laugh...instead I'm the girl whose laugh is so loud it scares animals.

It's okay though, people love me anyway.

Observations of an Observant Observer

Here's a list of the types of people I've observed in audiencial (is that a word?) settings. Whether it be church, the movies or and concert, you will see at least one of these kinds of people there. I'm not saying any of them are good or bad to have and sometimes even I embody some of these different types. Some people may have more than one of these characteristics and some people are different in different settings.
Whatever, I don't have to explain myself to you!
_______________________________________________________
1. The ENTERTAINER
This person will try to add on to whatever is going on in the movie/sermon/song. This person tries to make you laugh with every comment they make. Sometimes it's directly to you and other times it's a "pretend subtle" mumble and when you laugh at what they said he or she looks at you in a manner that is supposed to reflect "Oh, you were listening to my comments that I was trying to keep quiet?" but in reality means "Yes! They think I'm just naturally funny because I say stuff that makes them laugh and I look like I'm not even trying."

2. The HITTER/NUDGER
Somehow I feel like I manage to always get seated next to this person. A hitter and a Nudger are usually one in the same. You find a Hitter mostly in comedic or shocking situations. He or she will hit you as some sort of reflex to his or her own reaction. A Nudger most often does his or her nudging when the speaker/movie or what have you says or does something that reminds him or her of the nudgee.

3. The SHUSHER
If you get one thing out of this post, I would like you to know that NO ONE likes a Shusher. I feel like the person shushing doesn't even enjoy how obnoxious he or she is being by shushing. Everyone knows a Shusher. A shush absolutely NEVER works. It's just not an appropriate quieting technique yet it is still used, and often. Like blackberry phones.

4. The SCOPER
Also known as the "wandering eye", this observer is always checking out what's going on around them. But not just the usual glance around a place, rather a Scoper almost makes you feel paranoid as if at any moment someone is going to sneak in and shoot up the place. What a Scoper is really good at is pointing out other people that are doing weird things.

5. The PREDICTOR
This person is different in different settings. Often though, you will see a Predictor at the movies. In a movie, a Predictor will try and guess what's going to happen next. "That's fine. They're obviously just critical thinkers who like to asses the situation" you say. Well first of all I'd really appreciate it if you didn't interrupt my blogposts with your interjections to defend these people. Second of all, these people don't just THINK about what's going to happen next, they say their predictions out loud so everyone else can know they have an idea of the future. Some times a Predictor won't say their predictions but when something concluding happens, the Predictor will give a quick "I knew it!" just so that everyone around the Predictor will rest assured that he or she was in the know before his or her fellow audience members.

5 Things I vow to NEVER do...but will probably end up doing anyway

1. Take a family photo where everyone is wearing khakis or jeans and a black t-shirt.

Honestly, I can't think of a more ridiculous (or culturally white) tradition. "Hey! I have a great idea! Let's all wear really unflattering and extremely out of date clothes and then we can go sepia crazy!" Yeah, no.

2. Name my kids alliterative names (names that all start with the same letter).

(Ex: Caden, Cole and Conner) I may, however, consider names that rhyme (ironically , of course). Only because Shantika, Latrika and Blanika has a special ring to it.

3. Get a tattoo.

I refuse to be an 80 year old with a nautical star on my wrist.

4. Have a ringback on my phone.

Don't know what a ringback is? Consider yourself lucky. About 5 years ago they were all the rage. "Let your friends listen to half of a chorus of a song that only you like." Now part of my job is calling people and I hear ringbacks all day (Usually it's Reggaeton or Deuces by Chris Brown). I've noticed that there must be a default ringback for people who don't want to take the time to choose a personalized song because I can't even count the number of times I've heard Vivaldi's 'Spring' from "Four Seasons." I know there ain't that many Sprint customers listening to classical music. Let's be real.
Please enjoy the music while your party is reached. NOT LIKELY.

5. Have a garden

Now don't get me wrong, there is something so romantic and feminine about having a garden. Seeing flowers bloom and eating one's own vegetables-that seems so Anne of Green Gables-ish. Here's the thing, I'm the OPPOSITE of the Ann of Green Gables type. Also, I will never trust anything that comes out of MY ground. I won't eat an apple straight off a tree (I would have done GREAT in the Garden of Eden) and I DEFINITELY won't be eating something that comes from the ground. Straight up nasty. All crusty with dirt. No thank you.

.:CURRENT OBSESSIONS:.

I pre-ordered the book yesterday so I'm not YET obsessed with it but I can't help but be obsessed with Mindy Kaling. I feel like she's finally getting the recognition she deserves. I feel like I was the first person to really love her (I always feel like I'm the first everything) because Kelly has always been my favorite character on The Office (except for like the early episodes when she was mainly silent and boring). But honestly, I'm so stoked for this new turn of culture where a lot (comparatively) of the funny comedians and comedy writers are *gasp* FEMALE! And in an even bigger change of events, we have big women, women of color and women with scars on their faces(I'm looking at you Tina) as the famous, talented ones. Go society, kinda.

No, I'm not obsessed with pins. (Those are so 2004 goth kids.) I'm in love with blogs. I don't necessarily LOVE blogging but I feel like I can't read enough of other people's blogs. I like comedy blogs, fashion blogs, dating blogs, Jesus blogs and blogs about people's lives. I feel like at work all I wanna do is go online and see what hellogiggles.com has updated or what Mindy Kaling (man, i love her) bought that she loves. It's so weird and I kind of feel about 3 years too late on the whole blog obsession but at the same time, the blogosphere has significantly improved and I feel happy to enjoy the betterment that has been bestowed upon the internet. Blog on my friends.