Current Obsessions

MISS PIGGY

I mean, honestly, what's better than a puppet pig that dresses and acts like a bossy, diva human. That's right, NOTHING.

PINTEREST
Every time I go on the website, I feel so empowered and inspired like I have so many untapped treasures in my closet waiting to be "upcycled" (a new term I learned and now find any excuse to use). It's kind of an amazing site for someone who lacks creativity, like me, but loves being creative.

Sabrina's Rulebook: 9 simple guidelines to follow to live your best life.

A lot of people want to know how they can be like me. (I mean, let's face it, I'm smart, funny and beautiful, who wouldn't want to be like me?) Well, listed below are 9 very important rules that I follow. If you want to be like me, or just live a better life, follow these rules.

1. Never take your hair down from a ponytail (or any "up" do) if you do not have immediate access to a mirror (or any reflective surface) to check the status of the "up" removal situation.

2. Listening to Christmas music is reserved for December 1-December 31.*
(Christmas music is a privilege not a right)

3. Never look lost when walking around somewhere unfamiliar.
3a. Never look at a map located in the unfamiliar location::often located in malls/parks/large schools.*
(it may be easier to ask someone for directions or look at a map to find the desired destination but embarrassment is not easily hidden, even if you are wandering aimlessly for over an hour before you finally find 4e where your drama class is.)

4. Know important parts in "important" books, movies and TV shows.
(You don't want to get caught in a group conversation where you're the only one with nothing to contribute. Even if you only know a very famous quote or situation, say what you know, then people will think you've seen it. Essentially, Sparknotes yourself.)

5. Never untag yourself from an unflattering photo on facebook.
(When I see someone in an unflattering picture and try to tag them, which I've only done once, but not to be spiteful, and it says "the person has previously untagged themselves", my first thought is 'wow, that's improper grammar'. My next thought is that this person doesn't want people to think he/she looks like this. But guess what, if a picture caught it, you obviously have the capability of looking that way, the same goes for the opposite though, so if you look way prettier in the picture, know that you have the ability to look that way, too.)

6. If you're not funny, have a sense of humor.
(Not everyone can be funny, only some of us get to enjoy that luxury. BUT, in order to make a significant contribution to this world WITHOUT being funny, or like curing cancer or something, you have to have a sense of humor. If you can at least laugh at the funny things your funny friends say, you'll be just fine. Chances are you'll glean a little bit of humor from them and be able to contribute your own little funny...eventually)

7. Memorize all the words to at least ONE rap song.*

8. Sistah's before mistas or Bros before hoes.
(Yes, this rule is old but it NEVER fails. Obviously there are situations where choosing your mista/hoe is necessary but it's rare. The people who will ALWAYS be there for you are your girls/bros, don't ditch them for a fling, trust me, it's not worth it. In order to tell if your friend is the kind of "bro/sistah" that should not be ditched, you can know by the simple fact that if you did (unfortunately) break this rule, he or she would still be there for you.)

9. Always wear your sunglasses inside a room and remove them after you've taken seven steps.


WARNING: If your life isn't amazing after you've followed these guidelines, there's nothing I can really do about it, sorry.

*amendments:
(2) One may begin listening to Christmas music on the day after Thanksgiving aka Black Friday if one so desires and may continue listening through January 14.
(3a)One may look at a map ONLY by walking past said map multiple times and slightly slowing down to try to subtly see where desired destination is located. It is important that no one notices this act.
(7)If one mainly listens to rap, replace "rap" with "country" or "pop rock".

SAVE THANKSGIVING: Curing PCMA one life at a time.

A serious issue has been plaguing our nation for years now. It's a problem that we need to pay much attention to because ignoring it could cause serious damage. Our nation is suffering from Premature Christmas Music Auscultation (yes, I know that word is usually used medically) also known as PCMA. PCMA is an extremely delicate situation and in order to save innocent lives from this terrible affliction, I've begun a SAVE THANKSGIVING campaign. Ryan Seacrest is an avid sponsor of this notable cause.
In order to begin the cure for PCMA and raise money as well as awareness, I've come up with a few solutions.

The first is selling Thanksgiving decor. Too often, Thanksgiving gets lumped in with Halloween or even worse FALL. Thanksgiving and fall are not one in the same, nor should their decorations just be one little, lonely yellowish flower. I would like to open up a chain of cornucopia patches around the United States so that people can properly decorate for the date known casually as "the holiday between Halloween and Christmas (Chanukah for all my Jewish readers, L'chaim!).

Just like carving pumpkins and decorating the Christmas tree is a big deal, people can get together and stuff their cornucopias with all kinds of great things! (Hallmark, get on this train and start selling personalized cornucopias now before it starts moving too fast.)

Secondly, I feel as though people don't take advantage of the falling leaves very much. We don't care about the dried leaves for Halloween so let's use them to our Thanksgiving advantage! In NYC, there is a huge ice skating rink they put in the middle of the Rockefeller center and in Central Park. Why not make giant leaf piles in different places where people can jump in them for fun. Honestly, no one is too old to jump in a leaf pile. Couples can come and jump together, get engaged and take engagement photos (see previous posts on how to get perfect engagement photos) at the leaf piles, families can take their young kids for the first time to the leaf pile and friends can just come to hang out and gossip after they jump in the leaf pile. Really it's a gold mine that just no one has tried to make happen.

The biggest and most important thing were missing from Thanksgiving, which would solve alot of the cases of PCMA is that there is no genre of Thanksgiving music. Well, things are about to change. I am going to be the first artist to sing about one of the most important (yet, unfortunately forgotten) holidays of the year. I've already begun working on some songs which are soon to become the classic hits of Thanksgiving. Here are some of the titles:
"Oh Tryptophan"
"I won't be eating for 3 months after this"
"Unbutton my pants" (an R&B chart topper)
"I saw mommy slicing cranberry sauce"
"The kid's table"
...and many more.
Trust me, Bieber is gonna be all over this next year.

I'm doing my part to find a cure for PCMA, what are you doing?
SAVE THANKSGIVING!

Christmas List 2011

It's that time of year again! Christmas is 2 months away (and we still have Thanksgiving to celebrate, let us not forget!) and I've already begun thinking about what I want to get my friends and family. This is the first year that I have a really good paying job (and some good money in my savings) so I'm pretty excited about the gifts I'm gonna be able to afford! Alas, this blog is not about what I'm getting my family and friends, this is about ME! Because isn't that what Christmas is all about? Selfishness and seeing which friends you're gonna take with you to the new year because they give out stellar presents? Totally joking. It's about Christmas music! Okay for real it's about Jesus but I'm still gonna put my list up.

1. A juicer
2. Street/mountain hybrid bike
3. Silver cross necklace
4. blow dryer with comb attachment
5. flat iron
6. iPhone 4s (plus a cute new cover)
7. macbook pro
8. Crazy, Stupid Love (DVD)
9. brown flats
10. five finger half gloves
11. cowboy boots
12. Sewing machine

Christmas is still a ways away so I'll be adding to this list continually throughout the next couple months.
Don't judge me.