Throwback Obsessions

BLUES TRAVELER

Okay, okay, I know. I'm like 18 years late on this but you know how much I love the 90's and Blue's Traveler is about as 90's as it gets! As I fell asleep last night, an episode of Roseanne was going off and Blue's Traveler made a special appearance on the episode and I kind of fell into this mad obsession where I kept asking myself things like "Why didn't they get more popular?" and, "That guys voice is amazing, who wouldn't sign them?" Alright, I totally looked them up on iTunes and they actually have some other great stuff. You have 5 seconds to give me your best "judgy" line........okay that's it.

GILDA RADNOR

Comedic Genius. Seriously. Ever since I saw her as Rosanne Rosannadanna I knew I loved her but I saw her picture in an ad for fake wood floors and my obsession started all over again. She is pure comedic talent. Oh and FUN FACT: She was the first person to be cast for Saturday Night Live! She's just gold!

Current Obsessions

MISS PIGGY

I mean, honestly, what's better than a puppet pig that dresses and acts like a bossy, diva human. That's right, NOTHING.

PINTEREST
Every time I go on the website, I feel so empowered and inspired like I have so many untapped treasures in my closet waiting to be "upcycled" (a new term I learned and now find any excuse to use). It's kind of an amazing site for someone who lacks creativity, like me, but loves being creative.

Sabrina's Rulebook: 9 simple guidelines to follow to live your best life.

A lot of people want to know how they can be like me. (I mean, let's face it, I'm smart, funny and beautiful, who wouldn't want to be like me?) Well, listed below are 9 very important rules that I follow. If you want to be like me, or just live a better life, follow these rules.

1. Never take your hair down from a ponytail (or any "up" do) if you do not have immediate access to a mirror (or any reflective surface) to check the status of the "up" removal situation.

2. Listening to Christmas music is reserved for December 1-December 31.*
(Christmas music is a privilege not a right)

3. Never look lost when walking around somewhere unfamiliar.
3a. Never look at a map located in the unfamiliar location::often located in malls/parks/large schools.*
(it may be easier to ask someone for directions or look at a map to find the desired destination but embarrassment is not easily hidden, even if you are wandering aimlessly for over an hour before you finally find 4e where your drama class is.)

4. Know important parts in "important" books, movies and TV shows.
(You don't want to get caught in a group conversation where you're the only one with nothing to contribute. Even if you only know a very famous quote or situation, say what you know, then people will think you've seen it. Essentially, Sparknotes yourself.)

5. Never untag yourself from an unflattering photo on facebook.
(When I see someone in an unflattering picture and try to tag them, which I've only done once, but not to be spiteful, and it says "the person has previously untagged themselves", my first thought is 'wow, that's improper grammar'. My next thought is that this person doesn't want people to think he/she looks like this. But guess what, if a picture caught it, you obviously have the capability of looking that way, the same goes for the opposite though, so if you look way prettier in the picture, know that you have the ability to look that way, too.)

6. If you're not funny, have a sense of humor.
(Not everyone can be funny, only some of us get to enjoy that luxury. BUT, in order to make a significant contribution to this world WITHOUT being funny, or like curing cancer or something, you have to have a sense of humor. If you can at least laugh at the funny things your funny friends say, you'll be just fine. Chances are you'll glean a little bit of humor from them and be able to contribute your own little funny...eventually)

7. Memorize all the words to at least ONE rap song.*

8. Sistah's before mistas or Bros before hoes.
(Yes, this rule is old but it NEVER fails. Obviously there are situations where choosing your mista/hoe is necessary but it's rare. The people who will ALWAYS be there for you are your girls/bros, don't ditch them for a fling, trust me, it's not worth it. In order to tell if your friend is the kind of "bro/sistah" that should not be ditched, you can know by the simple fact that if you did (unfortunately) break this rule, he or she would still be there for you.)

9. Always wear your sunglasses inside a room and remove them after you've taken seven steps.


WARNING: If your life isn't amazing after you've followed these guidelines, there's nothing I can really do about it, sorry.

*amendments:
(2) One may begin listening to Christmas music on the day after Thanksgiving aka Black Friday if one so desires and may continue listening through January 14.
(3a)One may look at a map ONLY by walking past said map multiple times and slightly slowing down to try to subtly see where desired destination is located. It is important that no one notices this act.
(7)If one mainly listens to rap, replace "rap" with "country" or "pop rock".

SAVE THANKSGIVING: Curing PCMA one life at a time.

A serious issue has been plaguing our nation for years now. It's a problem that we need to pay much attention to because ignoring it could cause serious damage. Our nation is suffering from Premature Christmas Music Auscultation (yes, I know that word is usually used medically) also known as PCMA. PCMA is an extremely delicate situation and in order to save innocent lives from this terrible affliction, I've begun a SAVE THANKSGIVING campaign. Ryan Seacrest is an avid sponsor of this notable cause.
In order to begin the cure for PCMA and raise money as well as awareness, I've come up with a few solutions.

The first is selling Thanksgiving decor. Too often, Thanksgiving gets lumped in with Halloween or even worse FALL. Thanksgiving and fall are not one in the same, nor should their decorations just be one little, lonely yellowish flower. I would like to open up a chain of cornucopia patches around the United States so that people can properly decorate for the date known casually as "the holiday between Halloween and Christmas (Chanukah for all my Jewish readers, L'chaim!).

Just like carving pumpkins and decorating the Christmas tree is a big deal, people can get together and stuff their cornucopias with all kinds of great things! (Hallmark, get on this train and start selling personalized cornucopias now before it starts moving too fast.)

Secondly, I feel as though people don't take advantage of the falling leaves very much. We don't care about the dried leaves for Halloween so let's use them to our Thanksgiving advantage! In NYC, there is a huge ice skating rink they put in the middle of the Rockefeller center and in Central Park. Why not make giant leaf piles in different places where people can jump in them for fun. Honestly, no one is too old to jump in a leaf pile. Couples can come and jump together, get engaged and take engagement photos (see previous posts on how to get perfect engagement photos) at the leaf piles, families can take their young kids for the first time to the leaf pile and friends can just come to hang out and gossip after they jump in the leaf pile. Really it's a gold mine that just no one has tried to make happen.

The biggest and most important thing were missing from Thanksgiving, which would solve alot of the cases of PCMA is that there is no genre of Thanksgiving music. Well, things are about to change. I am going to be the first artist to sing about one of the most important (yet, unfortunately forgotten) holidays of the year. I've already begun working on some songs which are soon to become the classic hits of Thanksgiving. Here are some of the titles:
"Oh Tryptophan"
"I won't be eating for 3 months after this"
"Unbutton my pants" (an R&B chart topper)
"I saw mommy slicing cranberry sauce"
"The kid's table"
...and many more.
Trust me, Bieber is gonna be all over this next year.

I'm doing my part to find a cure for PCMA, what are you doing?
SAVE THANKSGIVING!

Christmas List 2011

It's that time of year again! Christmas is 2 months away (and we still have Thanksgiving to celebrate, let us not forget!) and I've already begun thinking about what I want to get my friends and family. This is the first year that I have a really good paying job (and some good money in my savings) so I'm pretty excited about the gifts I'm gonna be able to afford! Alas, this blog is not about what I'm getting my family and friends, this is about ME! Because isn't that what Christmas is all about? Selfishness and seeing which friends you're gonna take with you to the new year because they give out stellar presents? Totally joking. It's about Christmas music! Okay for real it's about Jesus but I'm still gonna put my list up.

1. A juicer
2. Street/mountain hybrid bike
3. Silver cross necklace
4. blow dryer with comb attachment
5. flat iron
6. iPhone 4s (plus a cute new cover)
7. macbook pro
8. Crazy, Stupid Love (DVD)
9. brown flats
10. five finger half gloves
11. cowboy boots
12. Sewing machine

Christmas is still a ways away so I'll be adding to this list continually throughout the next couple months.
Don't judge me.

Things I absolutely LOVE/HATE.

Basically I'm giving you a list of things that people around me do. Either it makes me want to give them a big hug or slap their mama.

LOVE:

• people who use the word "bonkers". Something about it just makes me bonkers.
  

• Little kids (like under 6 years old) play together without an adult. My gosh, when kids can make each other laugh, there's nothing cuter.Also, it keeps me from having to do a lot of work when I babysit. (Just kidding, kinda).
  

• Singing loud in the car (see picture) I don't just mean singing a little bit to your favorite song when you're on the freeway. I mean BELTING every word to the song as if you were the singer on stage at a concert. But here's the thing, some people will stop singing on the regular road or when stopped at a red light. If you keep singing despite those situations, then you fit into this category. (if you do this, we DEFINITELY will be friends)

• Laying on my stomach. I can't even really explain this one. I like reading in this position, watching tv, tanning, blogging, texting, etc. Just try it and you'll get it.
  

• Arguing. I should add to my hate list, when people try to stop me from arguing. I don't mind disagreeing with someone, I honestly don't. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not argumentative (Although my mom and my closest friends would PROBABLY disagree). I just don't mind having a discussion in which two individuals don't agree on something and therefore, have to argue about it (not to be confused with debating, cuz i HATE THAT! also, I don't like when other people argue, that just chaps my hide.
  

HATE:

• When people put pictures of their injuries on facebook. PLEASE people, I can barely watch Grey's Anatomy without feeling sick, the last thing I need to see is your nasty split open, bloody head blowing up my news feed.

• Slip on sandals, NOT FLIP FLOPS (see picture) FACT: If I see a woman wearing a shoe of this variety, I automatically respect her less. There is not an uglier shoe. There just isn't. I feel morally obligated to destroy all of these slip on sandals that exist. NO ONE should be wearing these, EVER. Just, please don't.
  

• Sprinkles (on ANYTHING) What a freaking waste of a topping. WHY would I want a flavorless, soft slash crunchy tiny bug like colorful thing on my cupcake/ice cream/cookie? Oh that's right, I wouldn't! What's even worse are chocolate sprinkles. Although I'm not the biggest fan of chocolate, I'm still usually an advocate for chocolate because it's like the dessert of my people (idk.) but chocolate sprinkles, plain and simple, look like mouse poop.
  

• When people sit directly across from you in a waiting room. Obviously, if there are not other seats available, the one facing me isn't going to bother me, I'm not a MONSTER. But please, I'm all for awkward situations, but that is just not an awkward situation I'm willing to deal with.

BTW-just because you do something on my HATE list, doesn't mean we can't still be friends and just because you something on my LOVE list, doesn't mean we'll be friends. (I'm picky and my friendship is pretty exclusive, just saying.)

My current obsessions

SHE'S COUNTRY BY JASON ALDEAN

I can't even begin to describe the amount of times I've listened to this song. And I definitely won't tell you about how I keep trying to act like the girl he describes in the song. But I'm not country at all. This song is just SO GOOD!


ENGAGEMENT PHOTOS

(I couldn't post someone's picture here without feeling like a total creeper)
First off, while this is a CURRENT obsession, it is not a recent development. I have always loved looking at engagement photos, even if I don't know the couple. There's something about a perfectly placed sun glare in a photo that makes me crazy. I love when people get creative with their pictures too. Not that a couple sitting in a tall grass field in between each other isn't satisfying but when I see a picture that hasn't been done before (i.e. this really cool zombie engagement shoot I saw recently), I feel like their marriage will be better. Creativity is the key to a perfect marriage right?
There are three key things that make for a perfect engagement shoot. (1) The bride to be should wear a dress. A cute, baby doll, whimsical-ish dress. Girls in jeans are cute but girls in dresses are wife-y material. (2) The perfect amount of sun glare mixed with background blurring. I'm pretty sure those are the technical names. Those two in combination will make me weep (Assuming the couple has good photo chemistry). (3) AT LEAST ONE picture must have the bride to be looking at the camera and the husband to be looking at the bride to be. This is an essential part of having people say "Awww" when they look at your photos. If no one is saying "Awww", get your money back for those pictures IMMEDIATELY.
I'm not gonna say I want to get engaged just for the pictures but...

I'm not that girl...

I wish I were that girl that craved waking up at 4am to go to a spin class at LA Fitness...instead I'm the girl who craves jack in the box tacos at 2am.

I wish I were that girl that people describe as kind or sweet...instead I'm the girl who people are afraid to make angry.

I wish I were that girl who looks hot in sweatpants and a ponytail...instead I'm the girl who sweats too much and doesn't like wearing pants (yeah, I just went partial nudity on you...)

I wish I were that girl who "just gets along better with guys"...instead I'm the girl who feels the need to make awkward comments about herself whenever guys are around (seriously, how many times am I gonna bring up my bra wire?).

I wish I were that girl who never embarrasses herself, and when she does its cute...instead I'm the girl who's been caught three times pretending she's blind while walking to the restroom at work.

I wish I were that girl with the dainty, not annoying laugh...instead I'm the girl whose laugh is so loud it scares animals.

It's okay though, people love me anyway.

Observations of an Observant Observer

Here's a list of the types of people I've observed in audiencial (is that a word?) settings. Whether it be church, the movies or and concert, you will see at least one of these kinds of people there. I'm not saying any of them are good or bad to have and sometimes even I embody some of these different types. Some people may have more than one of these characteristics and some people are different in different settings.
Whatever, I don't have to explain myself to you!
_______________________________________________________
1. The ENTERTAINER
This person will try to add on to whatever is going on in the movie/sermon/song. This person tries to make you laugh with every comment they make. Sometimes it's directly to you and other times it's a "pretend subtle" mumble and when you laugh at what they said he or she looks at you in a manner that is supposed to reflect "Oh, you were listening to my comments that I was trying to keep quiet?" but in reality means "Yes! They think I'm just naturally funny because I say stuff that makes them laugh and I look like I'm not even trying."

2. The HITTER/NUDGER
Somehow I feel like I manage to always get seated next to this person. A hitter and a Nudger are usually one in the same. You find a Hitter mostly in comedic or shocking situations. He or she will hit you as some sort of reflex to his or her own reaction. A Nudger most often does his or her nudging when the speaker/movie or what have you says or does something that reminds him or her of the nudgee.

3. The SHUSHER
If you get one thing out of this post, I would like you to know that NO ONE likes a Shusher. I feel like the person shushing doesn't even enjoy how obnoxious he or she is being by shushing. Everyone knows a Shusher. A shush absolutely NEVER works. It's just not an appropriate quieting technique yet it is still used, and often. Like blackberry phones.

4. The SCOPER
Also known as the "wandering eye", this observer is always checking out what's going on around them. But not just the usual glance around a place, rather a Scoper almost makes you feel paranoid as if at any moment someone is going to sneak in and shoot up the place. What a Scoper is really good at is pointing out other people that are doing weird things.

5. The PREDICTOR
This person is different in different settings. Often though, you will see a Predictor at the movies. In a movie, a Predictor will try and guess what's going to happen next. "That's fine. They're obviously just critical thinkers who like to asses the situation" you say. Well first of all I'd really appreciate it if you didn't interrupt my blogposts with your interjections to defend these people. Second of all, these people don't just THINK about what's going to happen next, they say their predictions out loud so everyone else can know they have an idea of the future. Some times a Predictor won't say their predictions but when something concluding happens, the Predictor will give a quick "I knew it!" just so that everyone around the Predictor will rest assured that he or she was in the know before his or her fellow audience members.

5 Things I vow to NEVER do...but will probably end up doing anyway

1. Take a family photo where everyone is wearing khakis or jeans and a black t-shirt.

Honestly, I can't think of a more ridiculous (or culturally white) tradition. "Hey! I have a great idea! Let's all wear really unflattering and extremely out of date clothes and then we can go sepia crazy!" Yeah, no.

2. Name my kids alliterative names (names that all start with the same letter).

(Ex: Caden, Cole and Conner) I may, however, consider names that rhyme (ironically , of course). Only because Shantika, Latrika and Blanika has a special ring to it.

3. Get a tattoo.

I refuse to be an 80 year old with a nautical star on my wrist.

4. Have a ringback on my phone.

Don't know what a ringback is? Consider yourself lucky. About 5 years ago they were all the rage. "Let your friends listen to half of a chorus of a song that only you like." Now part of my job is calling people and I hear ringbacks all day (Usually it's Reggaeton or Deuces by Chris Brown). I've noticed that there must be a default ringback for people who don't want to take the time to choose a personalized song because I can't even count the number of times I've heard Vivaldi's 'Spring' from "Four Seasons." I know there ain't that many Sprint customers listening to classical music. Let's be real.
Please enjoy the music while your party is reached. NOT LIKELY.

5. Have a garden

Now don't get me wrong, there is something so romantic and feminine about having a garden. Seeing flowers bloom and eating one's own vegetables-that seems so Anne of Green Gables-ish. Here's the thing, I'm the OPPOSITE of the Ann of Green Gables type. Also, I will never trust anything that comes out of MY ground. I won't eat an apple straight off a tree (I would have done GREAT in the Garden of Eden) and I DEFINITELY won't be eating something that comes from the ground. Straight up nasty. All crusty with dirt. No thank you.

.:CURRENT OBSESSIONS:.

I pre-ordered the book yesterday so I'm not YET obsessed with it but I can't help but be obsessed with Mindy Kaling. I feel like she's finally getting the recognition she deserves. I feel like I was the first person to really love her (I always feel like I'm the first everything) because Kelly has always been my favorite character on The Office (except for like the early episodes when she was mainly silent and boring). But honestly, I'm so stoked for this new turn of culture where a lot (comparatively) of the funny comedians and comedy writers are *gasp* FEMALE! And in an even bigger change of events, we have big women, women of color and women with scars on their faces(I'm looking at you Tina) as the famous, talented ones. Go society, kinda.

No, I'm not obsessed with pins. (Those are so 2004 goth kids.) I'm in love with blogs. I don't necessarily LOVE blogging but I feel like I can't read enough of other people's blogs. I like comedy blogs, fashion blogs, dating blogs, Jesus blogs and blogs about people's lives. I feel like at work all I wanna do is go online and see what hellogiggles.com has updated or what Mindy Kaling (man, i love her) bought that she loves. It's so weird and I kind of feel about 3 years too late on the whole blog obsession but at the same time, the blogosphere has significantly improved and I feel happy to enjoy the betterment that has been bestowed upon the internet. Blog on my friends.

UPDATE.

Oh my gosh! I'm back! It's been almost 10 months!
Okay now that that's over with...

It's great to be back it truly is. While I've been gone from my dear friend blogger, a lot of stuff has happened. I started going to a new church! I got a new job! I even got a new hairdo! Ugh I know, so grown up.

Well with all of this newness in my life, you'd think I'm overwhelmed with excitement but honestly I'm starting to feel a little blase about everything. It's been about 7 months since I started the new church, almost 6 months at my job and 3 months with this haircut. I know right?
Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE all the aforementioned new adventures I'm on but I'm certainly not in the honeymoon stage any longer. There are a few things I've learned through this 2011 year and I'm prepared to share them with the blogger world.

1. EVERYONE can dish it out and 99.9% of people CANNOT TAKE IT.
I don't know WHO came up with the phrase, "If you can't take it, don't dish it out," but honestly, its' stupid. There are very few people who can take it. and those people volunteer to publicly get roasted on television (Charlie Sheen, I'm looking at you). I've not met a single person who doesn't have a button that they absolutely wish weren't pushed. I'm just saying.
Now, personally speaking, I've never claimed to be able to "take it" but I'll dish it out as much as I darn well please because that's how I show my love to people (and sometimes I just enjoy being a beezy). But when you say something about my family or what have you, don't expect me to laugh, I'll probably just cop an attitude, stop talking and stop listening to what you say for the rest of the night.

2. It's so much easier to play the victim.
Now maybe this is only my struggle but when I get an attitude with someone for doing something to me, I don't like to first look at what I did wrong. I like to think of all the ways that the other person should have reacted to keep me from reacting the way I did. Stupid, yes. Immature, yes. Working on it, kinda. Yo, I'm not perfect and no one SHOULD expect me to be, but this is one tough habit to break (I'm hoping some discipleship and authority will help...)

3. I'm not great with authority...is a HUGE understatement.
I don't know anyone who struggles with this as much as I do, but my goodness I do NOT like to be told what to do. i know it is simply fleshly rebellion that I have inside of me that makes me want to do the exact opposite of what someone in authority tells me to do. I've been that way for as long as I can remember (granted I am 90% better than I was in middle school/high school).

I didn't mean for this to end up as a list of faults but sometimes a girl's just gotta get it out.
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I have to say, I was thrilled to go back and read my previous posts and see a lot of prayers answered and huge growth and maturity in myself.
God has done some SERIOUS work in my life. He's grabbed me by the heart, shaken up my life and he's molding me into the woman of God he wants me to be. SO THANKFUL!

In His Hands

I give this day over to Christ.
For probably the past 22 years I've not been doing that and I think that is the source of really all my issues.
By thinking that I have control of the day, I am fooling myself into thinking that this life belongs to me; when in fact it does not.

I read Job last night and admittedly I chose it because i need a job so I figured maybe it could be some kind of representation or something.
Not so.
BUT I needed to read it nonetheless.
After I finished the first chapter I began to cry.
I felt almost convicted by Job's faithfulness in spite of all the terrible things that happened to him.
That's one of the great things about the Bible, though, is that no matter how many times I read it, I can find a different meaning or significance in the same passage.
So here's to being a Job.
I want that unfailing faithfulness to define my life.
I want God to look at me as a servant of God that would never cease to praise him despite any trials that come my way.

P.S. I just experienced incredible healing. My stomach was hurting MAJORLY so I laid hands on it and spoke healing over it in the name of Jesus and the pain went away instantly. I am so impressed with the power of God, always.

auld lang syne

I cannot believe it's already 2011. 2010 was really a great year for me. I grew so much, I learned so much and I achieved so much.
I graduated from college, performed in 2 plays and even was a lead in one of those.
Needless to say (well not necessary needless but...) I'm THANKFUL. so extremely thankful.

Here's a list I came up with on Twitter.
Things I learned in 2010:
1. I'd be completely fine if the only 3 channels my tv got were: Bravo, E! and TLC.
2. Being famous on YouTube is a legitimate career.
3. I'm not as good at parallel parking as I thought I was.
4. I don't like it when the cashier at the grocery store calls me Ms. Anderson.
5. I can't dance.
6. I'm really indecisive when it comes to the big things.
7. I am a reality TV junkie.
8. I forever will have to, some way, be involved with theatre.
9. My room doesn't stay clean for more than 3 days.
10. Cerebral Palsy is the sexiest of the palsy's.
11. My biggest pet peeve is when people are extremely flaky.
12. Student loans suck.
13. Boots make any outfit look like you actually tried.
14. Leggings = BLISS.
15. I hate when pregnant people wear bikinis. Naked pregnant bellies gross me out.
16. You can't party with a boyfriend.
17. Lame is not a word in the iPhone's auto-dictionary.
18. Andy Bernard (from The Office) is my dream man.
19. A year goes by way too fast.
20. I like meat with my champagne.

Also, I don't like making resolutions but here are some things i would like to start doing/accomplishing this year. It's an unfinished list but...

1. I want to start calling people sweetie or honey
2. I want to ACTUALLY pursue my dreams.
3. I want to move out of California.

Jesus.

Starting 2011 the right way.