A serious issue has been plaguing our nation for years now. It's a problem that we need to pay much attention to because ignoring it could cause serious damage. Our nation is suffering from Premature Christmas Music Auscultation (yes, I know that word is usually used medically) also known as PCMA. PCMA is an extremely delicate situation and in order to save innocent lives from this terrible affliction, I've begun a SAVE THANKSGIVING campaign. Ryan Seacrest is an avid sponsor of this notable cause.
In order to begin the cure for PCMA and raise money as well as awareness, I've come up with a few solutions.
The first is selling Thanksgiving decor. Too often, Thanksgiving gets lumped in with Halloween or even worse FALL. Thanksgiving and fall are not one in the same, nor should their decorations just be one little, lonely yellowish flower. I would like to open up a chain of cornucopia patches around the United States so that people can properly decorate for the date known casually as "the holiday between Halloween and Christmas (Chanukah for all my Jewish readers, L'chaim!).
Just like carving pumpkins and decorating the Christmas tree is a big deal, people can get together and stuff their cornucopias with all kinds of great things! (Hallmark, get on this train and start selling personalized cornucopias now before it starts moving too fast.)
Secondly, I feel as though people don't take advantage of the falling leaves very much. We don't care about the dried leaves for Halloween so let's use them to our Thanksgiving advantage! In NYC, there is a huge ice skating rink they put in the middle of the Rockefeller center and in Central Park. Why not make giant leaf piles in different places where people can jump in them for fun. Honestly, no one is too old to jump in a leaf pile. Couples can come and jump together, get engaged and take engagement photos (see previous posts on how to get perfect engagement photos) at the leaf piles, families can take their young kids for the first time to the leaf pile and friends can just come to hang out and gossip after they jump in the leaf pile. Really it's a gold mine that just no one has tried to make happen.
The biggest and most important thing were missing from Thanksgiving, which would solve alot of the cases of PCMA is that there is no genre of Thanksgiving music. Well, things are about to change. I am going to be the first artist to sing about one of the most important (yet, unfortunately forgotten) holidays of the year. I've already begun working on some songs which are soon to become the classic hits of Thanksgiving. Here are some of the titles:
"Oh Tryptophan"
"I won't be eating for 3 months after this"
"Unbutton my pants" (an R&B chart topper)
"I saw mommy slicing cranberry sauce"
"The kid's table"
...and many more.
Trust me, Bieber is gonna be all over this next year.
I'm doing my part to find a cure for PCMA, what are you doing?
SAVE THANKSGIVING!
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