This is a list of things a guy can do and still be hot; and things that if a girl did, there would be judgmental and disgusted eyes directed at her.
Pour a bag of chips(or anything from a bag for that matter) into his mouth. The amount of times I've seen this done is a little bit disappointing. Is it so difficult to put your hand inside the bag as opposed to tipping the bottom and pouring CRUMBS down your gluttonous gullet? Honestly, if you can't pick the pieces up using your hands, are they really worth the effort to eat? I'm sorry, I'm being dramatic. But take a walk with me down imagination lane, and picture Reese Witherspoon (freakin' "girl next door") gobbling a bag of family sized, French Onion flavored Fritos (I LOVE ALLITERATION!) with the bottom up with only 3/4 of the crumbs actually making it into her mouth? You think it's sexy? You're gross! Oh...you think it's gross? Oh okay, you're normal. Well, one of the male DA's at work did this and we made eye contact after he did it. I lost ZERO respect for him and I still think he's hot.
Scratch inappropriate areas. By inappropriate, I mean anywhere a modest bikini would cover (except for, like, the shoulders and back...I'm not a communist-idk.) I hope I don't have to explain this one too in depth. Men, on NATIONAL TELEVISION, itch, scratch, pick and tug inappropriately all the time! They know they're being watched and they simply don't care. Not only that, BUT WE WATCH THEM! Why is there no ridicule for these shameless actions? Because they're men. God forbid Ana Kournikova scratch or itch somewhere and get caught on camera! That business would be all up on TMZ with some witty slash rude headline that creatively combines her name with the word nasty ( Kourniko-nasty? Nope. Whatever. Shut up! I'm not TMZ!).
Spit. This might be the most disgusting thing in the entire world. I don't know many women who don't think the same thing, therefore, making me so confused as to why guys still do it! Athletes are always hawking loogies (I literally just gagged even typing out that phrase) and today on y lunch break, some guy just spit on the sidewalk mid-stride and just kept walking! NO! Absolutely not. I dare Beyonce to spit and strut, although, she is Queen B and she can do most anything and still be amazing, spitting is where I draw the line. Not only is Beyonce too classy for spit, (she probably doesn't have salivary glands; is that a thing?) but if anyone were to ever witness such a horrible act, she would be Beyonc-EW (that one was better, yeah?).
