This is a little diddy I just wrote and posted on tumblr. Enjoy.
___________________________
I'm a screw up; a royal mess maker.
I am selfish, prideful, and have a bad attitude.
I do dumb things, i make rude comments and i think hateful thoughts.
I let my flesh take over, i ignore what is right and i indulge in negativity.
I am unlovable, intolerable and despicable.
I am imperfect beyond belief. I am CRAP.
8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
Selah.
No seriously, think about it.
I
am of NO USE to God. I could not be more flawed, yet Christ chose to
die to save my insignificant, imperfect, unnecessary life.
WEEPING. literally every time i read that verse.
There
is something I'm really good at. I am amazing at beating myself up for
all the things i do wrong. I can honestly say, at the end of the day, I
am my biggest critic. I can flaunt and act arrogant as if i could give
two flying sh*ts about what mistakes I make or what people think about
me but the truth is, i die inside. I carry ridiculous weights of guilt,
doubt, insecurity and shame with me. Now, this is not to minimize the
struggle of anyone else or to say that I am the only one who "deals
with" whatever, but I am saying I am flawed and know it.
Do
not misread this as a pity party or feel worried about my state of
mind. For there is something in me that is stronger than any load I may
carry.
9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12
My skills and abilities are not enough. My faith and belief are not enough. My good deeds are not enough.
NOTHING I DO IS ENOUGH.
The
only thing that is ENOUGH is God's grace. By God's grace I am free,
forgiven and made flawless, that is, perfect. Only in Him can I boast.
Paul
wrote 2 Corinthians. Yes, Paul who preached the gospel to millions.
Paul who raised up influential leaders. (And yes, Paul, who
pre-salvation dedicated his life to the demise of Christians). PAUL,
said his WEAKNESS was his strength. Not his encounters with God, not all
the time he spent preaching the word, and not his power or influence.
He had no reason to brag on how great he was because he would literally
be nothing without God's grace.
Holy crap. That's what I am.
Crap made holy by the grace of God himself.
I am weak and praise God I am because his power may rest on me and make me whole.
