1. Take a family photo where everyone is wearing khakis or jeans and a black t-shirt.
Honestly, I can't think of a more ridiculous (or culturally white) tradition. "Hey! I have a great idea! Let's all wear really unflattering and extremely out of date clothes and then we can go sepia crazy!" Yeah, no.
2. Name my kids alliterative names (names that all start with the same letter).
(Ex: Caden, Cole and Conner) I may, however, consider names that rhyme (ironically , of course). Only because Shantika, Latrika and Blanika has a special ring to it.
3. Get a tattoo.
I refuse to be an 80 year old with a nautical star on my wrist.
4. Have a ringback on my phone.
Don't know what a ringback is? Consider yourself lucky. About 5 years ago they were all the rage. "Let your friends listen to half of a chorus of a song that only you like." Now part of my job is calling people and I hear ringbacks all day (Usually it's Reggaeton or Deuces by Chris Brown). I've noticed that there must be a default ringback for people who don't want to take the time to choose a personalized song because I can't even count the number of times I've heard Vivaldi's 'Spring' from "Four Seasons." I know there ain't that many Sprint customers listening to classical music. Let's be real.
Please enjoy the music while your party is reached. NOT LIKELY.
Please enjoy the music while your party is reached. NOT LIKELY.
5. Have a garden
Now don't get me wrong, there is something so romantic and feminine about having a garden. Seeing flowers bloom and eating one's own vegetables-that seems so Anne of Green Gables-ish. Here's the thing, I'm the OPPOSITE of the Ann of Green Gables type. Also, I will never trust anything that comes out of MY ground. I won't eat an apple straight off a tree (I would have done GREAT in the Garden of Eden) and I DEFINITELY won't be eating something that comes from the ground. Straight up nasty. All crusty with dirt. No thank you.
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