Pomp and Circumstance

The time has come.
I officially graduate tomorrow.
Early in the morning I will walk in my cap and gown while my name is called out by my professor and my friends and family will cheer for me.I always knew this day would come and I always knew I would feel this way about it.
Nostalgic, excited, reminiscent, nervous, anxious but most of all ready.
I'm extremely ready to do this.
I've been getting sort of antsy about the whole thing lately because I knew that I would be hearing about all the jobs that everyone has lined up after graduation while I'll be going back to my part time retail job at the mall.
I expected a bit of disappointment and of course a tinge of jealousy (okay, more than a tinge).
but i don't think I ever expected the peace that would come to me after being back at the house with my old roommates.
A peace that actually passes ALL understanding.
Suddenly I realized the peace isn't an act of coincidence.
It's a true act of my Lord, my comforter, my ALL in freaking ALL.
God knew what I would be walking back into by coming to La Mirada.He knows my heart and all it's desires, impurities and insecurities.
Thus, he knows how to satisfy my heart. How to ease my troubled mind and calm my whirling soul.
This peace came not through a deep heart to heart with a mentor, or a passionate bible study, or even an influential speech.
My peace has come through the simple prayer before I stepped out of my car that God would bless my trip.A constant battle thrashes in my head almost every day.
I never know, never REALLY know what my purpose is.
I can't seem to figure out if I'm doing things right.

but somehow it hit me.
God whispered quietly that everything is going to be okay.
He has a plan.
He knows what's going to happen and he truly wants me to live my best life for him.

I complain a lot.I feel like I'm not really headed in any direction.
Like I'm not doing what I should be doing.
But the peace has hit me.
Where I am right now is where I'm supposed to be right now.
and where I am in 5 years is where I'm supposed to be in 5 years.
and as far as I can tell (which is about 1 second from now) I can't do anything more about the next 5 years other than be here right now.
I don't know how it happened and I think that's where the "passes all understanding" thing comes into play, but for now I am at peace.
It's undeniable that I got an amazing education at Biola.
but what's even greater is the spiritual growth I experienced in the 4 years I was there.
It's something I'll never regret and will always remember.