let that be enough

I do my best thinking when i'm in my car driving on a long, empty road with nothing but my music playing.
I love putting my ipod on shuffle because for some reason it always chooses a song i would never choose but is a song that i need to hear.
If you don't know me, or haven't noticed, i am a FIRM believer in the power of music.
I think there is something compelling and influential about music that really can't be explained.

so today's lesson comes from when i was driving home from rehearsal.
my ipod chose switchfoot's Let That Be Enough.
Now, don't get me wrong, I like Switchfoot, but i went through an obsessed phase and am now out of it so it's not usually that appealing to me, and the majority of the time they come up on my shuffle, i usually just shuffle right on past the song.
but this time was different, i saw the title and was like, "i might need to hear this song".
I DID.
the song spoke to me in a way that really just made me want to start weeping (but i was driving and my weeping is really messy and not good while driving :D).

these are the lyrics:
wish i had what i needed
to be on my own
cuz i feel so defeated
and im feeling alone
and it all seems so helpless
and i have no plans
im a plane in the sunset with nowhere to land
and all i see it could never make me happy
and all my sandcastles spend their tiume collapsing.
let me know that you hear me
let me know your touch
let me know that you love me
and let that be enough
its my birthday tomorrrow
no one here could know
i was born this thursday
22 years ago
and i feel stuck watching history repeating
and who am i just a kid who knows he's needing
let me know that you hear me
let me know your touch
le t me know that you love me
and let that be enough
let me know that you hear me
let me know your touch
let me know that you love me
and let that be enough

so many things in that song directly relate to what i'm going through right now.
but the most important part that i want to focus on is when he says "let me know that you love me and let that be enough"
i know that for me, i'm constantly crying out to God saying things like that.
asking him to show me his love.
telling him to let me know that my prayers aren't falling on deaf ears.
longing for him to wrap his loving arms around me and let me know he's there.
the problem is, once i get those things, i still want more.
i want answered prayers, i want instant changes, i want tangible evidence that these things are actually happening but if i would just let knowing that he hears me, touches me, and loves me, be enough, i wouldn't need all that other stuff.
His love is sufficient for me (yeah, i know that's not how it goes-but it's still true) and not with a grip of add-ons.

Kids, this week is going to be spent working on letting God be enough for me.
hold me to it.
anyway...i can already foresee a lot of complaining in my future but i will eventually get to a point where i won't do it anymore.
it's weird, i already know a lot of things that i don't know. you can quote me on that :D