okay lots of things going on in the mind of sabrina lynn right now.
1. i was discussing with some of my friends the impact that boys have on us and it's seriously just ridiculous. i hate those girls that get boyfriends and then completely ditch their other friends to spend every waking moment with their guy. i hate how you can be having a perfectly fine time and a phone call or a comment from or about a guy you're into can ruin the rest of the day. i hate how some guys just stick in your mind regardless of how much of a douche bag you know they are. i guess it's not really the guy's fault but seriously, sometimes i wish i could just turn off my feelings.
woo...a little deep for first point but you gotta start somewhere ya know.
2. i love music but lately i've just been getting so frustrated with the emotions behind the songs that are out right now. like why the eff (excuse my euphemism) can everyone relate to taylor swift's you belong with me song. gosh it's like she's trying to torture us into remembering/noticing the stupid feelings we have for the stupid people that make everything so stupidly painful. ugh. okay i guess im not frustrated, just feeling a little called out ya know?
3. (WARNING: mushy feelings ahead...not for the faint of heart) looking in the mirror has gotten a lot more painful, lately. i just feel ugly alot and i really hate it. i don't know what i could do about this situation except for maybe listening to whitney houston's greatest love of all on repeat for a week straight. but i don't have time for that. i guess this one i just gotta do some work with me and the big man upstairs (aka God).
4. i think because i'm about 3 months away from graduating college, i've been reminiscing a whole lot about my past self and thinking how that has and will affect my future. i mean, i've definitely changed (some for the worse and some for the better) and i'm glad for all of it because it has led me to where i am now and i'm content with that place. but i'm just like "AAHHH...where in the heck do i go from here?" high school was so much easier. i didn't have to pay rent, or utility bills or go grocery shopping. i could use all of my earned money on fun, shopping (which definitely fits under the FUN category but i felt it needed to be stated on its own because of its impact on my life), or eating out. i don't know, i guess i just miss the 'simple times'. bleh...sometimes i feel like just breaking down and crying and hoping that my tears land in some sort of predictive way like the ancient Egyptians used to do. sigh.
5. last one. i don't want a boyfriend right now. i don't want a husband right now. but somehow i feel extremely pressured into wanting one. there are times when it seems like girls try to make me feel like a freak for not wanting anything. it's not that i don't EVER want one it's just that at this point in my life, i can't see myself devoting or even wanting to devote a majority of my time to one boy. they just don't seem that worth it to me. at least not now. of course there were a few prospects, but they just disappointed in the end so, yeah, i'm sticking with my previous statement. it just doesn't seem worth it to me...yet.
phew. feels good to get it all, well not all, but get some of it out.
i thought about deleting this post but i think it'll feel better to just click publish and be done with it.
No comments:
Post a Comment