gosh. i don't want these kinds of things to clog up my blog and i am in no way an entertainment blogger but i feel like i need to get this out.
today there has been so much criticism of my beloved John Mayer.
while i am a huge fan of his music and think he's hilariously funny, i do not doubt nor deny that he may in fact be a douche bag.
BUT...i feel the same way about John Mayer that i do about Kanye West (aside from his voice giving me the chills when he sings).
i feel bad for both of them.
i don't think that they think before they say things.
they're honest people that have the platform to say what's on their mind.
unfortunately, if they were just normal people, they wouldn't have any friends. (except for maybe each other).
i am in no way condoning John Mayer or Kanye West's actions but what i think they really need is help.
not like rehab help, more like love help.
it doesn't seem like they have real people in their lives loving them for who they really are (aside from famous douche bags).
it just hurts me when i see people like that. people that are trying so hard to rise above criticism and be who they are regardless usually end up in total fallout.
one guy who i think is purposefully hurtful...PEREZ HILTON.
i'm grossed out just by seeing his name on my blog.
but for real-he writes things about people that are completely insensitive for the purpose of making that person look like a complete idiot. he breaks people and i think he's the real problem.
Kanye West, John Mayer-they're harmless because the things THEY say mostly make themselves look ridiculous.
but Perez-ugh.
i guess he needs some love too...
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
questionable.
hello february 9, 2010.
wow.
i can't believe i'm putting this on my blog.
but i really want to do this.
i'm going to lose weight.
i'm gonna try to keep up with the peeps on celebrity fit club and lose 3 pounds by next week and ultimately 35 pounds in 8 weeks.
this is gonna be hard because food has had some serious control over me.
but not anymore.
i'm relinquishing control and giving it up to God and making this decision.
things are getting real right now. my life needs to change starting now.
starting today.
JESUS, HELP ME.
wow.
i can't believe i'm putting this on my blog.
but i really want to do this.
i'm going to lose weight.
i'm gonna try to keep up with the peeps on celebrity fit club and lose 3 pounds by next week and ultimately 35 pounds in 8 weeks.
this is gonna be hard because food has had some serious control over me.
but not anymore.
i'm relinquishing control and giving it up to God and making this decision.
things are getting real right now. my life needs to change starting now.
starting today.
JESUS, HELP ME.
Monday, February 1, 2010
i've gotta do this
im sitting with two my best friends talking about life.
bad news about ex-boyfriends have come into play and some severe boy bashing has begun.
i've been here before.
it feels like i've been broken up with a thousand times. (not literally, but every time one of my friends gets dumped, i feel the pain of their breakup too).
every part of this makes me feel like there is no necessity of ever being with someone.
the hurt i watch my friends go through is enough to make me never believe in love.
to never want anything of the sort because all it does is lead to hurt.
i'm not cynical though.
i swear im not.
okay, so maybe i am a little cynical but you have to understand that by being constantly reminded of how hurtful love is, i kind of have a right to be cynical.
it's logical. it just MAKES SENSE.
anyway...that needed to be said.
i'm sure things will change soon.
it's just the moment...
bad news about ex-boyfriends have come into play and some severe boy bashing has begun.
i've been here before.
it feels like i've been broken up with a thousand times. (not literally, but every time one of my friends gets dumped, i feel the pain of their breakup too).
every part of this makes me feel like there is no necessity of ever being with someone.
the hurt i watch my friends go through is enough to make me never believe in love.
to never want anything of the sort because all it does is lead to hurt.
i'm not cynical though.
i swear im not.
okay, so maybe i am a little cynical but you have to understand that by being constantly reminded of how hurtful love is, i kind of have a right to be cynical.
it's logical. it just MAKES SENSE.
anyway...that needed to be said.
i'm sure things will change soon.
it's just the moment...
Friday, January 29, 2010
geeeeze.
oh dear.
my blog has been the victim of neglect.
i sincerely apologize.
everyday i tell myself that i am going to make time, in the midst of craziness, to blog.
yet somehow, life keeps popping up making it impossible to get a good thought out.
it will happen though.
once opening night comes for the show, the week will be less busy and i'll make time for you.
promise.
my blog has been the victim of neglect.
i sincerely apologize.
everyday i tell myself that i am going to make time, in the midst of craziness, to blog.
yet somehow, life keeps popping up making it impossible to get a good thought out.
it will happen though.
once opening night comes for the show, the week will be less busy and i'll make time for you.
promise.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
i'm talking bout hey now!
gosh, i've been meaning to blog about how this is a new year and i'm all excited for it.
i wanted to write and publish it on the 1st of January because it seemed appropriate.
obviously that didn't happen and here i am.
it's the 11th of january and i've already written a blog completely unrelated to the new year.
well, better late than never, i suppose.
i'm going to start with this.
i started writing a "New Year's Day" blog (like using pen and paper...old school, i know) because, like i said, i had a plan. so here's what i had written:
It's New Years Day. January 1, 2010. I've known for the last 3 weeks that I was going to write a new year's blog- i just didn't know what i was going to say. my new year's eve was actually really great and i think it was very predictive about what my 2010 is going to be about. I began my new year by praising God. I went to church with some friends and felt the presence of God so much.
That's as far as i got.
This excites me in so many ways.
The aspirations i set for myself are never too big to attain. I want them to be reachable but difficult. Looking at the things i wrote makes me extremely proud of "10 days ago me".
I have begun a journey of tremendous growth and maturity that i don't want to end.
That's really all i have to say about that.
i'm just so very excited for 2010 and i know that there are so many great things to come.
i wanted to write and publish it on the 1st of January because it seemed appropriate.
obviously that didn't happen and here i am.
it's the 11th of january and i've already written a blog completely unrelated to the new year.
well, better late than never, i suppose.
i'm going to start with this.
i started writing a "New Year's Day" blog (like using pen and paper...old school, i know) because, like i said, i had a plan. so here's what i had written:
It's New Years Day. January 1, 2010. I've known for the last 3 weeks that I was going to write a new year's blog- i just didn't know what i was going to say. my new year's eve was actually really great and i think it was very predictive about what my 2010 is going to be about. I began my new year by praising God. I went to church with some friends and felt the presence of God so much.
That's as far as i got.
This excites me in so many ways.
The aspirations i set for myself are never too big to attain. I want them to be reachable but difficult. Looking at the things i wrote makes me extremely proud of "10 days ago me".
I have begun a journey of tremendous growth and maturity that i don't want to end.
That's really all i have to say about that.
i'm just so very excited for 2010 and i know that there are so many great things to come.
Monday, January 4, 2010
let that be enough
I do my best thinking when i'm in my car driving on a long, empty road with nothing but my music playing.
I love putting my ipod on shuffle because for some reason it always chooses a song i would never choose but is a song that i need to hear.
If you don't know me, or haven't noticed, i am a FIRM believer in the power of music.
I think there is something compelling and influential about music that really can't be explained.
so today's lesson comes from when i was driving home from rehearsal.
my ipod chose switchfoot's Let That Be Enough.
Now, don't get me wrong, I like Switchfoot, but i went through an obsessed phase and am now out of it so it's not usually that appealing to me, and the majority of the time they come up on my shuffle, i usually just shuffle right on past the song.
but this time was different, i saw the title and was like, "i might need to hear this song".
I DID.
the song spoke to me in a way that really just made me want to start weeping (but i was driving and my weeping is really messy and not good while driving :D).
these are the lyrics:
wish i had what i needed
to be on my own
cuz i feel so defeated
and im feeling alone
and it all seems so helpless
and i have no plans
im a plane in the sunset with nowhere to land
and all i see it could never make me happy
and all my sandcastles spend their tiume collapsing.
let me know that you hear me
let me know your touch
let me know that you love me
and let that be enough
its my birthday tomorrrow
no one here could know
i was born this thursday
22 years ago
and i feel stuck watching history repeating
and who am i just a kid who knows he's needing
let me know that you hear me
let me know your touch
le t me know that you love me
and let that be enough
let me know that you hear me
let me know your touch
let me know that you love me
and let that be enough
so many things in that song directly relate to what i'm going through right now.
but the most important part that i want to focus on is when he says "let me know that you love me and let that be enough"
i know that for me, i'm constantly crying out to God saying things like that.
asking him to show me his love.
telling him to let me know that my prayers aren't falling on deaf ears.
longing for him to wrap his loving arms around me and let me know he's there.
the problem is, once i get those things, i still want more.
i want answered prayers, i want instant changes, i want tangible evidence that these things are actually happening but if i would just let knowing that he hears me, touches me, and loves me, be enough, i wouldn't need all that other stuff.
His love is sufficient for me (yeah, i know that's not how it goes-but it's still true) and not with a grip of add-ons.
Kids, this week is going to be spent working on letting God be enough for me.
hold me to it.
anyway...i can already foresee a lot of complaining in my future but i will eventually get to a point where i won't do it anymore.
it's weird, i already know a lot of things that i don't know. you can quote me on that :D
I love putting my ipod on shuffle because for some reason it always chooses a song i would never choose but is a song that i need to hear.
If you don't know me, or haven't noticed, i am a FIRM believer in the power of music.
I think there is something compelling and influential about music that really can't be explained.
so today's lesson comes from when i was driving home from rehearsal.
my ipod chose switchfoot's Let That Be Enough.
Now, don't get me wrong, I like Switchfoot, but i went through an obsessed phase and am now out of it so it's not usually that appealing to me, and the majority of the time they come up on my shuffle, i usually just shuffle right on past the song.
but this time was different, i saw the title and was like, "i might need to hear this song".
I DID.
the song spoke to me in a way that really just made me want to start weeping (but i was driving and my weeping is really messy and not good while driving :D).
these are the lyrics:
wish i had what i needed
to be on my own
cuz i feel so defeated
and im feeling alone
and it all seems so helpless
and i have no plans
im a plane in the sunset with nowhere to land
and all i see it could never make me happy
and all my sandcastles spend their tiume collapsing.
let me know that you hear me
let me know your touch
let me know that you love me
and let that be enough
its my birthday tomorrrow
no one here could know
i was born this thursday
22 years ago
and i feel stuck watching history repeating
and who am i just a kid who knows he's needing
let me know that you hear me
let me know your touch
le t me know that you love me
and let that be enough
let me know that you hear me
let me know your touch
let me know that you love me
and let that be enough
so many things in that song directly relate to what i'm going through right now.
but the most important part that i want to focus on is when he says "let me know that you love me and let that be enough"
i know that for me, i'm constantly crying out to God saying things like that.
asking him to show me his love.
telling him to let me know that my prayers aren't falling on deaf ears.
longing for him to wrap his loving arms around me and let me know he's there.
the problem is, once i get those things, i still want more.
i want answered prayers, i want instant changes, i want tangible evidence that these things are actually happening but if i would just let knowing that he hears me, touches me, and loves me, be enough, i wouldn't need all that other stuff.
His love is sufficient for me (yeah, i know that's not how it goes-but it's still true) and not with a grip of add-ons.
Kids, this week is going to be spent working on letting God be enough for me.
hold me to it.
anyway...i can already foresee a lot of complaining in my future but i will eventually get to a point where i won't do it anymore.
it's weird, i already know a lot of things that i don't know. you can quote me on that :D
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