suddenly i see

the love of the Father [God] is truly amazing.
period.


i had a horrible day yesterday.
i cried so hard and so much.
i went to the beach, sat on a rock and just cried.
no one was there so i started talking to myself.
trying to piece together the source of what was causing my pain.
i figured part of it was PMS but also i was realizing my feeling of loneliness.
since i moved back home it's been hard not having people my age around.
i lived with 7 other girls for the majority of my college career and now all the friends that i had in ventura have now moved away to go to college.
so i was struggling with that.
it wasn't a constant battle, just something that i was thinking about that day at the beach.
i just missed having people around to go to any time i wanted or needed.

so let me just tell you how good God is.

today i had two performances.
both had small audiences but i had fun nonetheless.
so we have a meet and greet after every show where i stand outside and sign autographs for the kids and get encouraged by the older crowd.
all of a sudden i see my roomates Kristin, Karissa and Rebekah, my friend Katie and Kristin's boyfriend Kevin coming down the steps with flowers in their hand and i start blushing and freaking out because just the day before, they made it seem like they wouldn't be able to make it to the show.

now, im sure to them they were just being the good friends they are and supporting me but to me it meant so much more.
all the loneliness that i was feeling yesterday was crushed and i was reminded of the AMAZING friends God has put in my life. they are truly wonderful and the love of God incarnate.

on my way home from the show i cried just as hard as i did at the beach but for a different reason.
i was reminded of God's love for me.
his amazing love that i shouldn't have to be reminded of.
but a love that he has no problem showing and reminding me of.
i couldn't help but cry because i realized that even if i saw love nowhere else in my life, my friends are the true representation of how much God loves me and that he listens to my prayers and cares about my hurts.